Truth be told

Truth is relative. Facts are relative. Nothing seems honest when you are not in the state of mind. Nothing matters when you have been betrayed all your life. Life seems to be like a train which is stopping at every small station/ running local when the hardest moments are being experienced. They don’t understand me. I feel I am fluttering and banging against the walls of my own existence. Trying to understand my truth and the truth they want me to know. Every time I try to trust someone it fails. Failure makes you weak and vulnerable. It makes you scared to be out of the box of your existence and experience the excitement of the reality in an exclusively vulnerable way.

Isn’t life worth living when it is strange and uncertain?

Pool Friendships

Friendships are easy in the pool. 😊 I was swimming when a first grader came and introduced herself and admired my nail polish. After that conversation Rest was history, we became best of friends as she started introducing me to everyone as her friend. She spelled words and told me how spelling “ inside” was easier than “outside”. She told me in my ear that her sister is mean to her but she still likes her sometimes. When I was leaving she asked me to stay. I told her I have other engagements. She came out of the pool and asked me for a hug and said “friends forever”. I just smiled. WOW!! Some friendships are easy, clear, pure and honest! Made my day !! 😊😊😊

Finding Puddles and letting them be!!

Slowly as I tried to live a little more trying to find my existence, I kept finding these puddles and bumps on my way, I tried to be careful and stepped aside so I don’t get hurt or get dirt on me. However, the existence of the puddles itself promises you a muddy and bumpy ride. Did I learn something from it or will I be prone to making same mistakes that I did before? Life teaches you lessons, people who learn from their mistakes are considered smart but who end up making same mistakes are considered fool. Fool?? Really??? Fools make emotional mistakes of forgiveness and forgetfulness. Life teaches them lesson in their own way of existing in existence. Slowly and steadily they make the same mistakes of finding the puddles in their existing existence  and letting them be!

Life is life

When you are sure about life is that really living your life? The fun in life are the mysterious turns that come unexpectedly. Vulnerability makes you uncomfortable but living through the uncomfort and uneasiness is the drill. I was talking to a specialist in the field of psychology and he said that avoiding a problem and not facing it might be a temporary solution but not a cure. Avoidance is laziness and living life without fear and pain is cowardness. Pain is not a bad thing. It strengthens you. It makes you more aware of your weaknesses. Once you live through it, you realize how strong you are and what a long way you have come.

Life is life when you live it not avoid it. Feel it not forsake it. You think of it not betray it. Life is life that is why you live it not hold it.

Darkness to Light

I saw this girl sitting in the dark crying in the corner. She wore a white dress. Her skin was dark and her hair were wet and curly. It seemed as she just came out of a shower. Why was she sitting there? Why was she crying? I went closer to see what was wrong. I saw she had no hands to wipe her tears and no feet to walk away from the pain of sitting there. She was left there by someone who was ready to leave as the day was ending. The person was so in a rush that she left her hanging there. The life being her must be miserable as she had to rely on others. She was not mad. She was just concerned how to do things so that she does not bother anyone. She wanted to help herself and others without being annoying and bothering anyone. While she was in the corner, another person came to help who just started the shift.

How hard must be it for a person who is dependent on people around. She requested this person to take her to the top of the apartment building to view the scenic beauty. She just asked her to sit on the wall and talk about her feelings. But what she did was jump from high up and gave up her life. Life or misery that she had no empathy and people treated her as a way to get paid.

Life ended right there with the pay check.

One day at a time

The journey of life brings us to a destination which is both annoying and exciting at the same time. I hate this person from the core of my heart and actually from the same core I love him too. We argue to the point of where I feel I would never like to see him again, but in a few minutes we act like nothing went wrong between us. We are so different from each other but I still try to figure out what keeps us together. The idea of being nice and cordial for the sake of life or there is something more to it. Well whatever, I am going to take it one day at a time.

Hammock Buddy

I don’t know if he is the one or I am addicted to him for the sake of it. 😂😂😂 We have this intriguing relationship where we don’t understand anything but driving each other crazy. Today, I ended up in his backyard. I saw a different side of him. A side where he was being a leader and was telling his brother to help him with the bon fire. All we both did was happily lay under the moon and stars on the hammock as hammock buddies. We were rolling to get the blanket from the other. I wonder how much we love the other because we both were concerned about our own bodies. We are unique kind. Where we fight to love and love to fight. We are crazy and that is why we are united by God  in our mission to craziness.