Fictional Love Happens

I use to wonder sometimes why God makes you go through tough times. I felt, I knew the answer, however, you can only technically predict, and not know till you experience it yourself. Love for me was such an endearing word. It was so powerful. Every chick flick I watched, I lived it vicariously through the characters, as I was told it is unreal and a fictional fantasy. But God has His ways of making you experience life in a way you would never image. Everything, you would imagine that was unreal starts to happen in your life. You just get awestruck. Love that always seemed confining starts to feel liberating. I could be myself. Act my way. Speak independently and still feel that I care for someone. 

Dancing under the star and letting go of myself was becoming my reality. The love that I was discovering was discovering me in a liberating manner. :)

Our song!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vv-BfVoq4g

Thank you for sending me this song. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbe3CQamF8k

Connection

I'm still figuring out if resistance led me to a magical night. I was trying hard to hold myself back I was unaware where are my emotions and feelings were coming from. Were they coming from a recent turmoil in my life? I use to feel that it take years to get to know someone. But this connection proved  it all wrong. We recently got to know each other. But the communication seems to go so well. I don't stop myself from saying the most brutal and cruel things. He similarly don't hold back either. But we laugh unceasingly. Sarcasm and rebellion that I am best at, sometimes lead me into trouble.  However he seems to like it. I can be myself. I'm loving the freedom in a relationship that I am developing with this individual, so unique. The long drives, the silly laughter, the racist jokes and of course the passion.

Isn't it so amazing how someone tells you they respect the boundaries you have created. Isn't it so endearing how the boundaries does not hold individual's feelings towards you and they still want to connect anyway.

True connections develope true feelings.

Once Loved

Someone just told someone to move on. They want them to move on from the person they once loved.

I don't understand this move on business. How can you not love someone you once loved. If you ever truly loved someone the feeling always stay despite the fact, they  stay or not in your life. Their consistent unfaithfulness and infidelity makes you distant from them. You never  would go that route again. But love never changes and dies it stays strong.

When a current girlfriend tells an ex girlfriend to move on. You want to tell the girl that her dog was unleashed because if you knew that you were used to be cheated with, you would have never gone that route.

My theory is humans become history love does not.

 Moral of the story, for the ones who give advise to move on, to already moved on individuals, is to; Leash your dog! 😜

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I am so blessed to have family and friends who support me.

It takes courage to stand up for yourself and a blessing to know God is there with you. People who are right should not be scared of adversaries. The best things are support of crazy friends who find your craziness amusing. I am glad that I am honest, bold and true to myself. 

I cherish honesty and celebrate truthfulness. It revealed to me today that some people at their moment of honesty are not honest. It is scary that someone gets played by someone's manipulation in an act of sincerity and loyalty. When an individual starts deleting evidence. It shows their criminal mind and how scared they are of being caught. Education and grades don't show integrity of a person. Even when they become millionaires they won't have that peace and satisfaction of the criminal and manipulative mind. They write blogs, make videos to convince you and write emails to get to you and later deny every fact.

At the end who actually played a better part of sincerity and loyalty. Just internalize it and move on. 

Unconscious Racism

On Sunday afternoon, I dropped my parents to the church and drove back home with my sister to take her car battery to the auto place for charging. When we approached our house, a car was parked near our driveway blocking our parking space. We stopped. A guy jumped out of his car and walked towards my window. He said that he was our neighbor and was waiting for his wife to pull out of his driveway as the snow was blocking their space. I told him that it was alright and he could park where he was because we were leaving in a few minutes. He asked me where I was from and I without any hesitation told him. We were from Pakistan. He said, "Welcome to America." He assured me that I should be glad that no one will blow up my home in America and I will be safe. What an assurance??!! I was just shocked at his statement. He said that he does not like when people say Americans are racist or intolerant. He said that Americans are tolerant, they welcome people from countries like Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and Pakistan. Places where government supports terrorism. I was just still in a shock having such an intelligent unconventional conversation with a neighbor. It was making me uncomfortable to the core. I shared with him that every country and every individual has some kind of prejudices and bias. He continued convincing me that if 9-11 had happened in Pakistan, the citizens of Pakistan would have hurt him and his family. He continued to assure me they would not hurt us. He said that President Trump is getting American values and their identity back. According to him, every culture has its identity and they preserve it unlike US. He told me he was a cop in New York City when 9-11 happened. I kind of understood his trauma probably from that incident. My skin color reminded him of what happened a few years ago.

I do feel sorry for his trauma with people of my color. However, I am shocked how he approached me to talk about this stuff. I am more mortified how he think only people from Pakistan, Iran, Iraq and Aghanistan come to America. What about people from other countries? Is America not welcoming them. It is sad that I will always be a minority. I was in Pakistan because of my religion and here in US because of my color.

I wish there was a cure of such divisions. I wish hate and anger was not triggered so easily because of these divisions. I wish I could spread awareness and help people to love and live in peace.

I wish tolerance was based on differences not just on similarities. I wish if loving someone different was not easy, may be distancing from them could be a solution.

I wish color and religion was not use to propagate hate and fear.

May God be given all the glory!! Amen

Him

It struck to me that I am stuck, 

The stars to me will bring some luck 

The charm he brings will woe me in, 

The husky sound and the naughty grin

The grounded nature and subtle swag,

Inspires me so why he wont brag

Then if its what it seems to be

Then bring it on so I will see