Can we accept No and Stop as an answer?
I don't want to play with him.
I don't want to play that game.
This is not what I want to do.
I feel forced to do it.
Have you ever thought why we feel forced to do something or why we feel that someone controls us? The answer is we have not been taught to say "stop" or "no" or likewise taught to accept "stop" and "no" as an answer.
This reality of life struck me hard after I watched the movie "Pink". It phenomenally portrayed the roles that have been reinforced in our daily lives. The movie was not just about women empowerment but it also involved an idea of expressing to say NO.
NO is not a word as it is mentioned in the movie, it is a full expression of a feeling and an emotion. Even though the movie talks about the categorization and the equivalences we associate with human categorization. For example, the idea that a girl who drinks, smiles and hangs out with various guys is usually a girl with questionable character. Is it true for all girls? Even if a girl has questionable character for one second does she have freedom to refuse to any advances towards her. Well, as a matter of fact an individual boy or girl should practice their freedom of expression in what they believe in and if that expression be is to say NO or STOP then that be it. In similar way, the individual at the receiving end should also be willing to accept NO as an answer.
I felt this should have been taught to us at an early age. Recently at work, one of the preschoolers came to his teacher saying I don't want to play with a student who was forcing him to play. The teacher explained him that being polite is great. However, standing up for yourself and expressing how you feel is a good practice too. Therefore, she modeled the behavior for the student and the student was able to say NO. This "NO" as an answer did not go well with the child at the other receiving end. He was not ready to accept that answer. The teacher had to teach him to accept no as an answer as well. I was intrigued at the idea of how no was being taught.
I felt this should have been taught to us at an early age. Recently at work, one of the preschoolers came to his teacher saying I don't want to play with a student who was forcing him to play. The teacher explained him that being polite is great. However, standing up for yourself and expressing how you feel is a good practice too. Therefore, she modeled the behavior for the student and the student was able to say NO. This "NO" as an answer did not go well with the child at the other receiving end. He was not ready to accept that answer. The teacher had to teach him to accept no as an answer as well. I was intrigued at the idea of how no was being taught.
The movie following with this incident helped me to understand the power of the words STOP and NO. It also helped to know how sometimes people must be feeling out of courtesy to not express themselves. Some cultures reinforce behavior of ignoring our feelings and emotions for the sake of courtesy.
Stop and No are important words. Let us train ourselves, to tolerable habits of accepting and saying no and stop.
Stop and No are important words. Let us train ourselves, to tolerable habits of accepting and saying no and stop.
