Life is life

When you are sure about life is that really living your life? The fun in life are the mysterious turns that come unexpectedly. Vulnerability makes you uncomfortable but living through the uncomfort and uneasiness is the drill. I was talking to a specialist in the field of psychology and he said that avoiding a problem and not facing it might be a temporary solution but not a cure. Avoidance is laziness and living life without fear and pain is cowardness. Pain is not a bad thing. It strengthens you. It makes you more aware of your weaknesses. Once you live through it, you realize how strong you are and what a long way you have come.

Life is life when you live it not avoid it. Feel it not forsake it. You think of it not betray it. Life is life that is why you live it not hold it.

Darkness to Light

I saw this girl sitting in the dark crying in the corner. She wore a white dress. Her skin was dark and her hair were wet and curly. It seemed as she just came out of a shower. Why was she sitting there? Why was she crying? I went closer to see what was wrong. I saw she had no hands to wipe her tears and no feet to walk away from the pain of sitting there. She was left there by someone who was ready to leave as the day was ending. The person was so in a rush that she left her hanging there. The life being her must be miserable as she had to rely on others. She was not mad. She was just concerned how to do things so that she does not bother anyone. She wanted to help herself and others without being annoying and bothering anyone. While she was in the corner, another person came to help who just started the shift.

How hard must be it for a person who is dependent on people around. She requested this person to take her to the top of the apartment building to view the scenic beauty. She just asked her to sit on the wall and talk about her feelings. But what she did was jump from high up and gave up her life. Life or misery that she had no empathy and people treated her as a way to get paid.

Life ended right there with the pay check.

One day at a time

The journey of life brings us to a destination which is both annoying and exciting at the same time. I hate this person from the core of my heart and actually from the same core I love him too. We argue to the point of where I feel I would never like to see him again, but in a few minutes we act like nothing went wrong between us. We are so different from each other but I still try to figure out what keeps us together. The idea of being nice and cordial for the sake of life or there is something more to it. Well whatever, I am going to take it one day at a time.

Hammock Buddy

I don’t know if he is the one or I am addicted to him for the sake of it. 😂😂😂 We have this intriguing relationship where we don’t understand anything but driving each other crazy. Today, I ended up in his backyard. I saw a different side of him. A side where he was being a leader and was telling his brother to help him with the bon fire. All we both did was happily lay under the moon and stars on the hammock as hammock buddies. We were rolling to get the blanket from the other. I wonder how much we love the other because we both were concerned about our own bodies. We are unique kind. Where we fight to love and love to fight. We are crazy and that is why we are united by God  in our mission to craziness.

Acceptance, Honesty and Loyalty

Acceptance, Honesty and Loyalty

Saturday was a revealing day for me. It was not only  revealingly gorgeous outside, but I got to understand something about me which I will be revealing at the end. 😉

Anyways, I started off Saturday with my yoga class and then made a few calls to my close friends to catch up in the parking lot. Came home and started to get ready to head out with this person that I am getting to know and who is becoming very special part of my life. As I was getting ready I had a constant feedback from my mom and dad on my choice of clothes. They wanted me to pin up everything. It is so funny how at this age too I care so much for my parents desire. Even though I don't like their interference but I love their constant attention. At 1 p.m someone that I was waiting for stopped in front of my house, got out of his car, greeted my dad and complimented me. I was a little uncomfortable getting complimented in front of my dad. I liked it but I am just not very good at receiving compliments. It makes me anxious. Still trying to figure out why...or maybe I know. We went to this beach next to a park. Our discussions usually end up to be about Burrough's. We tease each other and sometimes end up arguing. Well, this time I don't know if it was the weather that we were nice to each other. We got to the park, walked on the beach and took pictures of the rocks and the waves. Of course, selfies!! I love photography. I enjoyed taking his pictures. We ate at iHop and discussed work, and psychology. We went to another beach and he showed me his rock-skipping tricks and I motivated him to take picture with this guy who looked like Jesus. We danced at the beach. I played the music " Perfect" on my phone. It was just crazy being crazy and I loved how he accepts my craziness. I don't have to change my actions or words. My words and actions are raw, actually pretty raw. We ended up at his favorite Hookah place. He loves smoking Hookah. We had more discussions there. I started to fall asleep and told him. I needed to go home. I had my crazy loud talks and questionable actions during the car ride. He was so accepting of it. Actually he participated in it. I love when we co-participate. Our day was not planned but it turned out to be one of my life's best day.

I am grateful to God for an accepting, honest and loyal individual in my life. I pray to God that any day, if he will lose any of the mentioned traits just take him away from my life. Everybody has a role to play in other people's life. His role in my life is important and special for now. I love his honesty, loyalty and above all his accepting nature.

One of my best friends told me yesterday, "Don't be scared, enjoy the time that you have with him. Don't be scared to enjoy what you have now for the fear of what you might not have in the future. Also be strong in case he leaves you, you should not get weak but be able to hold your self back again with strength."

From him to the book and back

“You can almost judge the importance of a discovery by the efforts made to suppress it.” William Burroughs

It is so interesting that with new people in your life you learn new things. You get exposed to new areas of possible interests. Challenging ideas give your mind stimulation. The  new philosophies help you expand your horizon and pair up that new person in a positive way.

This new person in my life has been introducing me with this author William Burroughs. He is obsessed with him and I feel he certainly would like me to be obsessed with the author too. But guess what I am getting obsessed with him and his ideas more than the author.

Last night I started off reading from where I left. It was different because two nights before I was reading to him and we were discussing our thoughts which was really stimulating. I enjoyed the disagreements more because it gave my brain some work to do.

It was really stimulating last night to read the book of Burrough’s on my own. I missed the companion who would explain me what was going on, and what actually was meant. However, he asked me to take out quotes from the book when I am reading by myself, so we could discuss later. During the time I was reading on my own I missed him. I missed discussing with him.

Anyways, the quote  last night that intrugued me was ”judge the importance of a discovery by the efforts made to suppress it”. It is interesting because what Burrough’s was saying a few years back was becoming a fact. Because the more we are suppressing and controlling human mind  towards a particular act or thing, it is becoming more important to a point where individuals have started to overthink and act upon it.

Well, I can’t wait to discuss this with him. I am sure he will have something about it to say or may be not. 😂😂😂😉😉😊

Wrong

Wrong 

They say I am wrong, 

Yes, I am wrong! 

For them, I am wrong but right for me. 

This wrong for me, not wrong for them

I want somethings, not wrong for me, 

not wrong for them 

I am the one who is right for me

I don’t want one, who can’t  trust me

I am not the one, then let it go, 

I don’t want this anymore

Life has been telling me for a while  

This wrong is right so live for a while 

I wish I had not a lost a friend 

In times like this when it all began.