Our Categorical Mind 

On August 5, 2017 the Daily Newspaper Dawn, posted a picture of a female wearing a hijab riding a bike. The picture captioned "A girl rides a motorbike in Saddar Peshawar". It was later shared on the Facebook page of Pak Tea house.

When I saw the picture and read the caption;  I asked myself why is this a news? What is difficult a girl riding a bike or a girl wearing a hijab riding it? I have no clue to why, when a woman does something it becomes a big deal or when a woman cannot do something and is manipulated becomes another deal. 

Yes, I agree that a woman is created differently from a man. However, a woman is free to choose and potentially able to do whatever she chooses or wants to do. It is not a debate that a woman is equal to a man. There is no competition and I feel there is no reason for a comparison as well. Men and women sometimes can do same things and other times have the ability to do it differently or better than the other gender. 

Humans are free to choose. The freedom of making a choice should be liberating. The decision to wear a hijab and ride a bike should not be made a huge deal. Women have gone to space, they fly airplanes, drive cars then why riding a bike make a woman any different. Our mentalities have this confined ideology of intolerance that is when we publish pictures like this or similar ones we actually limit and confine ourselves. We are trying to convince ourselves that it is not permitted or possible, however we are allowing and  permitting it to be acceptable and possible now. 

A human does not need permission. Nobody in this universe has the power over the other. The only power one can practice over the other is the mental power. Therefore, individuals should keep their mental powers  free and liberated from social confinements and environmental restrictions. Individuals should enlighten themselves for their own good and for the good of the society. We should allow the process of freedom from bondages of self-judgments and judgments of confining individuals based on their identity as far as religion or gender is a concern which ultimately could be debilitating.

 Ayesha Gulalai's Right to Fight

 Fighting for what is Right is a Right for All 

I have been so disturbed recently after I read and watched news of Ayesha Gulalai's claims and allegations on Imran Khan about harassment. Well, I have no political interest whatsoever. I don't care if any political party wins or looses, however what I care about today is the misuse of "woman" or " minority"card conveniently. I am all for Ayesha Gulalai fighting for justice and standing up for what is right. Nevertheless, there is a way of doing it. She needs to file a complaint and live through it. She is a powerful woman who has access to media and way to justice. She can provide briefing to the nation by holding press conferences after each step she takes. However, just claiming and using a certain identity does not provide any justice. She should seek justice through proper channel. She wanted to hold that press conference, well and good by all means. Now there should be step two. Appearances on different channels one after the other saying the same thing means nothing. On the other hand, supporters of Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf humiliating her and family is not an acceptable reaction. It seems like a game of mudslinging which is so disgraceful and needs to end. Moreover, her claims have ignited other opponent parties to support her to defame Imran Khan which is a fair game I believe in politics. However, what is this new idea of " We respect women" by all political parties. Well, not only women but humans in general should he respected irrespective of their nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, language, or any other status. 

There is a term called "Human Rights" which we have forgotten to use. Office of Higher Commissioner of Human Rights  (2017) described human rights as "Human rights are rights inherent to all human beings, whatever our nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, language, or any other status. We are all equally entitled to our human rights without discrimination. These rights are all interrelated, interdependent and indivisible". If there is any individual that feels violation to her/his rights, the individual needs to file a complaint and fight it through with evidence. Lobbying can be done to reach to justice. However, using a certain identity to get attention and manipulating certain situation in your favor is ethically wrong. This whole situation is disturbing. People need to be educated and made to understand their rights irrespective of their identities. 

We all should have a right to seek justice and we should do it through proper channel. We should not be discouraged by name-calling and defaming to not fight for what we stand for. Reaction should not be based on personal biases. Let us fight for right and let us help people to fight for what they think is right and just. 

#AyeshaGulalai #TVchannels #ImranKhan #PTI 

Wilderness


Walking in the wilderness makes me wonder, will I see the green grass that they promised.
I hear the good news parallell to the crying voices.
I need discernment for the love in the wilderness.
The love that was promised.
I find truth in the darkness.
I find shades of acceptance and tolerance.
I want to embrace them.
The moment I get close to them.
The truth slips from my hands.
Like me grabbing a smoke screen.
The smoke screen keeps my vision blurred.
I live in this mythical world.
I am not here to compete.
I am trying to find my existence.
I am trying to know who I am.
I want to see the image of me.
I want to see the truth in me.
I want to know who I am.

Lord, I cry at the hour of my despair that why have you forsaken me.
My faithless soul still yearns for faith.
My hopeless existence still prays for hope.
Hope in the only God who tells my faithless self that He Almighty is holding me strong!

 My Real Real Brothers

I was driving my friend and her children to the Laguardia airport to fly back to Texas. My friend's son/ my nephew during the whole ride to the airport was screaming at the top of his lungs, he wanted to go back to his "real real brothers". He wanted to stay  with them. He wanted to live with them. At that moment, the whole incident seemed hilarious to me. I kept teasing him. Today, I had a flashback of the same incident and I was just amazed what an eight year old boy taught me. The beauty of innocence and connection he made on genuine grounds. 

My friend and her family lived in New York for seven years. She and her family practices  christianity. When my nephew was born my friend took time off from work for a few weeks, however she needed to find someone to take care of her newborn son when she goes back to work. Fortunately, her Muslim neighbors offered to help them raising  her son. Thereafter, my nephew was nurtured in a Muslim family for four straight years and developed connections with them. He called the parents Ami (mom) and Abu (dad), their daughter, Baji (sister) and their sons, his "real real brothers". He even used to go and offer Namaz with them in the mosque. He got so attached with them that his mom used to have a hard time separating him from them at times. That bond and relationship stayed.  After seven years, when my friend decided to move to Texas with her family. Her son had a hard time separating from that family. They visited this year in January and he spent most of his time in their house. He had a meltdown when he had to leave them. He screamed and threw a tantrum that he wanted to stay with his "real real brothers".  That whole show in the car ride was hysterical to me. However now that I think about it. It is an epic example of beauty of his innocence which is not yet polluted by his surroundings. This year too he went to the mosque to offer Namaz with his real brothers even though he does not know how to offer Namaz. His mom on the other side takes him to church regularly. It boggles my mind that he still does not know the difference he has with his "real real brothers". 

Now sitting and looking back, I envy my nephew for his innocence. I wish I could view the world without differences. I wish I could live in a pure non-contaminated distilled world like he does.

#differentnotless 

Temple Grandin's quote, "I am different, not less" has probably been used by many practitioners who work with children diagnosed with autism. I recently understood the value of this quotation when I got into a conversation with my brother from another mother. 

He asked me, "Appi (older sister) you always say that rather than focusing on similarities we should focus on differences. However, today you are saying that we should not just focus on one community but one human race." "One human race is not differences. One race is a result of similarities." I was baffled and questioned myself. It was an interesting insight as it led me to further analysis. I wanted to explain him what I meant. However, my words at that moment were not enough to make sense. I was frustrated trying to help him understand.

 Sometimes, it is hard to articulate something when your brain cannot even comprehend and cut it down for you. 

Suddenly, scrolling through Facebook. I came across Temple Grandin's quote, "I am different, not less."these words just hit me hard. I had a grand display of lightning and thunderstorm inside my brain. I asked myself why we have restricted these words just to autism. These words are applicable to all of us. Aren't we all different, aren't we all unique. Who decides that we are less than the other.

Our religion, social status, bank balances, pay checks, education and diplomas make us feel worthy and awesome. A great way to compare to the rest of the world.

Anyways, moral of my story is that I am different but not less than you. Similarly, you are different but not in anyway less than me.

Sent from my iPhone

Religious Guilt

"God will not be very happy if you do not share." This is the line I used to get a piece of chocolate from my 10 year old cousin. I have realized how much this line works. Line like this and similar to these have been used on me for years. 

For example, "God is not happy with you." "God will not be happy with you."  "You did not do this the way you were suppose to, God probably is upset with you." Guilty me! 

"I told you to pray more."  What is more? No one has ever defined or explained more to me. My mom has been trained to blame herself, when she does not get answers from God the way she was expecting. She always feels guilty that she did not pray enough. I sometimes get so anxious when she ask me to pray for something with urgency. It makes me feel something bad is happening or is about to happen. 

Initially, I was ditto and still am at times. However, I am trying to separate my love for God from the religious guilt. I want to love God not just because of the things He provides me or the needs that He fulfills. But because He is God. I don't want to have a conditional relationship with an unconditional God. When I look back and think of the pain I have endured in life, why I always forget the undeserved grace and unmerited gifts I received from Him.

Religious guilt has been used on us to create fear. Fear is the way to manipulate and control. When you overcome your fears, you started living. Let us create love of God not fear of the Loving, Merciful and the most Magnificent God Almighty.

Identity 

It is hard to fully understand, where you stand in the world and to know the world’s perspective in comparison to yours. Sometimes, it gets difficult to explain your position to individuals around when you do not understand what you are trying to believe in. In the process, of teaching and re-teaching your own self it is hard to explain your loyalties to others. Sometimes, to believe in things are scary and to stand up for the emerging philosophies and ideologies are hard, as they are still sprouting. Loyalties and reliabilities are questioned.  

I have confused myself and my identity. Somehow my culture and surrounding have confused me. I was born in a Christian home in a Muslim country. Now, that I am here in US, a Christian, living in a diverse environment.  I am confused with an identity crisis. The people outside who call themselves Christians or Muslims are so unique to me.  I don’t know anyone. I am trying to be neutral. I am trying to be objective. I am trying to be a republican. I am trying to be a democrat. I am trying to be myself.