“Love,

by definition,

seeks to enjoy its object.”

-C.S. Lewis 

Love God and Enjoy His Presence!! 

Want Him not from Him!

Social Pressures and Individuality

“When we tell people they are a good match, they act as if they are. Even when they should be wrong for each other.” Christian Rudder #ChristianRudder #Okcupid #Dataclysm

Christian Rudder in his book, Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking), discusses how individuals do not demonstrate their individuality when representing themselves socially. Rudder shared his perspective analyzing the results of the data  from his previously owned website #okcupid. His findings were that when men tend to indicate their interest in women between the ages 40-55 on a social forum, they are actually not viewing profiles of that age range but of 20 year old girls. His book also revealed other findings of how people act differently in social setup! #audiencecontrol

Is it social pressure?

Social pressures and individuality have always been in a constant crash!! :) Christian Rudder's book brought to my mind again the theme of categorization, human end products, individuality and different ingredients!!

Anyways, sometimes I wonder walking down the aisle of a supermarket whether I will find a product with the exact amount of ingredients that I am looking for! Would I have to add an ingredient to it? Would I have to change something about it? Was the advertisement adequate? Did the advertisement indicate what my needs are? Is the advertisement making me buy something that I don't even need?

The world is becoming a market where everyone is trying to sell something or themselves! People market their skills and talents. Resumes, profiles on social media and dating sites all are examples of it.  Navigating through some of the resumes and profiles I noticed selling strategies. I have never read anyone ever stating that they are unattractive, ugly, awful at a task or it is difficult for them to live up to a pressurizing situation. No one ever claims that under stress they get panic attacks. I mean if they do, will anyone buy them or what they are selling! I mean hire them or ask them out on a date!

Having said that, my social environment expects me to live a product life! People try to fit me in this Pakistani Christian category that I am not even aware of! I am not sure how to act for my audience! Sometimes, it is difficult to know what is expected of me. It is a shocker for people if I devotedly pray and then like to listen to pop, hip hop and jazz music. It is difficult for people to comprehend how a church going female who loves to debate on Christian theology listens to Lil Wayne ( not the cursing part/ however I love his messages). #Howtolove #LilWayne

It is unacceptable for people to have me act bold. When they see Pakistani in me. They want to see a submissive and timid woman who cannot express a word she feels. Even as an individual too, sometimes I have certain expectation from myself. I have observed how my personality changes in certain environment. For example,  raised and brought up in Pakistan and now living in United States of America, I do certain things in social settings which I would not do given I have to make an individual choice.

Furthermore, my recent obsession about the idea of categorization makes me ask the above questions and wrestle with some social theories. I feel that the need for the formation of categorization was intended for our good to store and retrieve information. However, this way of learning is becoming detrimental as it forces us to think in a certain pattern and hold certain expectations from the world, and ourselves.

We should use this formation of categorization reversely!  We should be conscious of our behavior of thinking in a pattern and accept it. Following acceptance of our behavior, we would be able to make decisions based on it.

After we stop our pattern and categorized thinking, we will stop expecting from a Pakistani, a Pakistani woman, a Pakistani Christian woman, a Pakistani Christian educated woman, a Pakistani Christian educated working woman, a Pakistani Christian educated working woman living with her parents and  a Pakistani Christian educated working woman living with her parents in United States of America.

Bertrand Russell well said! "So long as a man's spontaneous activities are such as all the tribe approves of and shares in, his initiatives is very little curbed by others within the tribe, and even his most spontaneous actions conform to the recognized pattern of behavior." ( The Role of Individuality)

THE ARTIST

A preschooler was working on coloring a coconut tree. The child was suppose to color the tree green and brown. However, it ended up being a purple and blue tree. I was uncomfortable watching the process of a purple and blue tree coming into existence after experiencing millions of trees in specific colors. During the child's work time, I consistently was giving instruction, while being aware of losing control over the tree project that was suppose to be green and brown. My constant instruction led the child to say, "it is my tree and I decide the colors of the tree". 

As much as I was uncomfortable with the answer, however I agreed with the honesty and the authority of the child owning up the project. It was amazing to see a child taking responsibility of the artwork and being affiliated with it. I was impressed with the freedom of speech at a young age. This incident led me to a conversation with a colleague of mine. In our conversation my colleague exposed me to a child development approach known as " Reggio Emilia". According to this approach, children have rights and should be given opportunities to develop their potentials. Children are believed to be knowledge bearers therefore, should be encouraged to share their thoughts and ideas about everything they do and explore during their work time. She expressed that the pioneers of this approach, believed that children must have control over their learning process.  This approach facilitates learning from exposing children to the opportunities and experiences provided during touching, moving, listening and observing their surroundings. This self directed and exploration style of learning has  demonstrated building relationship of children with peers and adults. Ultimately, this theory also believes in children expressing through their work. I was totally in awe of this style as it explored children's potential and had them learn through experiencing on their own. Even though, children end up categorizing in this style  of learning as well. However, this seems to be more natural and experiential reinforcement than a pattern learned from passing on.

Anyways, as usual from this experience too, I learned something about God! What I learned was that the Almighty is always breaking our learning patterns in our environment. Our tree which we ought to paint green and brown. He ends up painting it blue and purple for us which makes us uncomfortable. However, ultimately when we realize that our life is God's master piece, His painting/His artwork, we would definitely leave the Artist (God ) and trust His judgment. Meaning, once we have faith in the Artist we will be more content as His products have always be a source of inspiration.

Moral of the story: Our experiences shape our behaviors not our control. Nothing is in our hands! Explore and experience life! Life teaches us way better than any professional coaches! 

Anyways, be still and let the Artist do His work, as this is His project not ours! 

God is Incomprehensible!

“DAWKINS: There could be something incredibly grand and incomprehensible and beyond our present understanding.

COLLINS: That's God
DAWKINS: Yes. But it could be any of a billion Gods. It could be God of the Martians or of the inhabitants of Alpha Centauri. The chance of its being a particular God, Yahweh, the God of Jesus, is vanishingly small--at the least, the onus is on you to demonstrate why you think that's the case.” ('God vs. Science - A debate between Richard Dawkins and Francis Collins' by TIME Magazine - RichardDawkins.net Miscellaneous by Richard Dawkins, Francis Collins) #evolutionphilosophy

I have been driving myself crazy over the last few days reading and listening to debates of scientists, theologians, agnostics and atheists. It has been a treat as my faith and belief has strengthened listening to the arguments of the famous agnostics and atheist. I have been thrilled how the great atheists have not been able to deny the existence of God. Their rejection seems to be directed towards the institution of religion rather than the existence of a supernatural being. I mean any sane person in their sanity would deny the institution of religion which is mostly hypocritical and manipulative.  Russell (1927) stated that Christians do not believe in their own teachings when he quoted from the Bible “thou shall not judge”. Having said that, I would conclude my argument based on Lord Russell’s statement that the idea seems to be against the institution of religion NOT God. The argument based on the denial of the teaching of theology to most agnostics and atheists relies on the promotion of control and manipulation of people by the institution of religion. Otherwise, the Biblical relationship if studied carefully indicates a unique and profound communication with all the men of God differently at various eras not in a typical or formula manner.

Moreover, God’s presence can be studied from examining the famous mushroom psilocybin.  Griffith (2006) investigated the effects of psilocybin on mystical-type experiences such as sustained spiritual significance and personal meaning. The results of experiencing spiritual meaning and significance were identical to the natural occurring experience of mysticism that many spiritual/religious believers and mystics have described and experienced throughout the ages.

Additionally, Dr. Collins in his debate with Dawkins stated that if we believe in a God outside of nature, then we should be able to believe in His inconsistent choice of consistently choosing to violate his natural laws to prove a point to His beings. “If God made the natural laws, why could he not violate them when it was a particularly significant moment for him to do so? And if you accept the idea that Christ was also divine, which I do, then his Resurrection is not in itself a great logical leap.” ('God vs. Science - A debate between Richard Dawkins and Francis Collins' by TIME Magazine - RichardDawkins.net Miscellaneous by Richard Dawkins, Francis Collins) #evolutionphilosophy 

By the  above statement, I would conclude that if we do not understand the incomprehensible God then that is our incompetency not His problem.  Moreover, we should be investigating and collecting data and base our logic on both natural and supernatural evidence to accept or reject any hypothesis about God.

Furthermore, we (atheists, agnostics and theist) all should focus on encouraging people to be bold and adventurous without causing problems to our fellow human beings, rather than trying to intimidate them. I feel that all atheist and theist are standing to prove their opponents wrong, rather than stating what they believe in and  leaving it to the others to accept or reject it, and move on!

Bertrand Russell well stated, “We shall not create a good world by trying to make men tame and timid, but by encouraging them to be bold and adventurous and fearless except in inflicting injuries upon their fellow-men.”  

+Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason & Science @richarddawkins #richarddawkins #evolution #bertrandrussell #God #FrancisCollins @franciscollins @GodvsScience #Godvsscience

"I AM WHO I AM!"

"It means God is there with you in every situation that you are going through!"

Saeed Abedini

http://aclj.org/persecuted-church/pastor-saeed-writes-his-son-for-his-birthday-my-chains-are-keeping-me-from-you 

 #savesaeed #SaeedAbedini #NaghmehAbedini #Isaiah43

I am so overwhelmed! Tears of joy and celebration! Jesus Christ has yet again shown His amazing power and sovereignty! Thank you God for an awesome moment that I am witnessing in my own lifetime!

During my time spend with God, requesting the Almighty and praying fervently for Pastor Abedini, I feel a victor! I asked God like many others, to help Pastor Saeed Abedini unite with his family. I use to wonder, sometimes loose hope and inquire the rationale from God for the suffering that Abedini's family was going through. I use to give up hope as I did not see any immediate results. I questioned God for the hard and difficult times that the family of Pastor Abedini was facing! I never got my answer that I needed and required to satisfy my limited human understanding. However, God always has His valid and profound reasons. I definitely have learned an enormous lesson from the brokenness and the suffering of this family. Moreover, the persistence and strength of Naghmeh Abedini always reassured how faithful God was! I always saw peace and  incomprehensible satisfaction whenever I watched an interview of Naghmeh. The peace she had definitely passeth all humanly understanding! I could not understand the faith and trust in the midst of a storm. A hailstorm! A tornado!

God showed and preached His love through these human vessels (Abedini family) at the time of their suffering was incredible.

Suffering and pain increases compassion and amazingly gives us perspective! A perspective that we would not know if we did not experience pain.

Lord made this TEST into a TESTIMONY!

Thank you God... for giving Abedini family the miracle they were looking for!

Thank you Jesus again for this amazing news!

I conclude with Abedini's word that will remain powerful and profound for me forever! He wrote to his son last year when he was unable to attend his birthday because of his "chains that were keeping him away!".

He further added to his birthday note, "Even though I am not there with you, I AM is there with you."

Pastor Abedini concluded the birthday note by giving glory to God! He stated, "Thank you for standing strong with me in this battle for the Glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!"

Now again God gave us the time to give glory and honor to Him for His great work! Amen!

Becoming Paranoid to be a  Pakistani!!

 

Who should I blame? I am trying to struggle and prove myself in a foreign country. I am gradually assimilating into the culture. However, few incidents make me realize I am different.

I am from Pakistan, living and studying in New York City. As much as most of the people try to appreciate who I am and understand my struggle to be different trying to strive to get acceptance as an individual. I strive to perform better than the average, to be accepted in this society. People who have not been a minority do not know how it feels to be one. People forget that as much as it is an advantage to be different as you stand out, it can play to your disadvantage too! It does take courage to be a minority and be different as you are compelled to swim against the waves. Every stroke that you take to swim makes you get in contact with a different wave. You move your body ahead and the wave pushes you back.

Being a Pakistani in New York, a diverse city, seems to be as same as moving against the waves. You want to get ahead but the incidents of the people who are caught in the waves due to their behaviors or others who are similar to them in appearance makes it hard for the striving and the struggling ones.

I pray each day before walking in the streets of New York for the safety of the world and pray even harder for no incidents involving Pakistanis. To be a Pakistani is becoming a taboo, my identity is become a nightmare for me. I try extra hard each day to be more careful when I speak with someone or driving my car. I do not want to be judged based on my appearance.

Recently, I was embarrassed and astonished how a mother approached me via email to provide therapeutic services to her child. She never met me in person. However, when she met with me she refused to have me work with her child sharing it to be a safety concern. I felt mortified and did not know how to react. I tried to stay calm in front of her giving no indication of my true emotions. I don’t blame her for her reaction as a mother I would be concerned for my child’s well being too. However, I do not want to blame my Pakistani heritage. Who should I blame?

Humans are becoming products on an aisle with certain ingredients to define them. The world wants me to on the Pakistani rack, not sure if I need to commoditize and accessorize myself to be marketed well and be sold!

I refuse to be sold as I am who God want me to be! No one in this world is physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually identical to me. Therefore, please judge me as an individual not a group marketed product!

Did we Grow-up Yet?

Did we grow-up yet?



I enjoy working with children! They teach life in an intriguing manner. I learn more honest facts from these innocent beings then the scholarly adults! Children don't hold back anything. They are pure and genuine.

Recently, I observed an interesting fact that children start playing with someone who has the best toy or gets attention from an adult who is an authority figure or a conditioned reinforcer. Children will start to model or imitate the friend who gets all attention or ends up hanging out with that friend.

Thinking for a while about my observation, I came to a conclusion that even though adults think they are mature and know it all beings! We still act like children. We want to be affluent! Meaning having the best education, fame, money, girlfriend/boyfriend and a high social economic status or on the other hand being friends with someone who has it all, to make us look awesome! 

For example, we work well to impress authority figures in our lives or be like the one who impresses an authority figure. We also struggle hard to get an attractive toy meaning a great job, education, fame, money, attractive girlfriend/handsome boyfriend with money and a high social status!

I was so amazed that how mature we think we are and how limited and confined are brain works! We limit our own self!