Two Brothers from Two Different Mothers
Recently, I have developed a relationship with two 18 year old boys from Pakistan, I call my brothers. These two brothers are from two different mothers, one is Muslim residing and working in Oman and the other Christian residing in Pakistan. I, myself an international student from Pakistan studying at Columbia University, New York. It is amazing that at this time and phase of life when people around me think that I am learned and educated. These two boys have the ability to teach me. It is fascinating that these two brothers have phenomenally made me feel secure and safe. My relationship with them is unique. They are brilliant without a superficial degree. Whenever, I speak with them I am introduced to a new perspective to view life.
I realized the uniqueness of our individuality in a recent argument with one of them. As most of you might be aware, that Pakistan has a culture of status symbol. It is considered an insult to call someone a "villager"/ "paindu" ( someone who is from country) as villagers are considered to be less aware and ignorant than the city residents. However,on a personal and individual level (in my defense), I was raised using "paindu" as a teasing vocabulary. I have operationally defined "paindu" as not that intense and with slight humor in my personal dictionary. Meaning, I have changed the nomenclature according to my convenience. Ignorant of other people's feelings I have used this word frequently. Anyways, one of the brothers approached me with a concern of my using of such language with individuals. It demonstrated from his perspective my insensitivity. He felt that I was insulting. I kept inquiring why he thought I was being insensitive. He replied with frustration that I should not underestimate them based on their education. He added that I have no right to think other people do not have same ability as me. His words made me upset. My ability to think straight just left me. My heart shattered into countless pieces. My point was that the one I called "paindu" had no issue why the other. My relationship with my other brother was based on teasing and calling names. According to me, we both were equal and on equal grounds. Furthermore, the one I called "paindu" did not care about education. Education was baseless for him as he was satisfied and felt enlightened the way he was. He admired his talent and skills as a mechanic. His attitude blew my mind as I always thought enlightenment comes from education and it gives you wisdom and peace. I thought education was an incentive or motivating object to attain. He proved me wrong. My education had no inspiration for him. He found no difference in our relationship based on education. He cared less about how many degrees I had attained. His mere respect towards me were based on our relationship. Relationship of being his sister in less than a month. It was intriguing that both of them looked at me differently, to one my dressing mattered which is he wanted to see me be dressed up as Pakistani clothes all covered. However, to the other using respectful words indicated that he cared ("Paindu" in his dictionary was a derogatory). He loves to listen and be there. I am so blessed to have brothers who I am learning from.
Recently, I have developed a relationship with two 18 year old boys from Pakistan, I call my brothers. These two brothers are from two different mothers, one is Muslim residing and working in Oman and the other Christian residing in Pakistan. I, myself an international student from Pakistan studying at Columbia University, New York. It is amazing that at this time and phase of life when people around me think that I am learned and educated. These two boys have the ability to teach me. It is fascinating that these two brothers have phenomenally made me feel secure and safe. My relationship with them is unique. They are brilliant without a superficial degree. Whenever, I speak with them I am introduced to a new perspective to view life.
I realized the uniqueness of our individuality in a recent argument with one of them. As most of you might be aware, that Pakistan has a culture of status symbol. It is considered an insult to call someone a "villager"/ "paindu" ( someone who is from country) as villagers are considered to be less aware and ignorant than the city residents. However,on a personal and individual level (in my defense), I was raised using "paindu" as a teasing vocabulary. I have operationally defined "paindu" as not that intense and with slight humor in my personal dictionary. Meaning, I have changed the nomenclature according to my convenience. Ignorant of other people's feelings I have used this word frequently. Anyways, one of the brothers approached me with a concern of my using of such language with individuals. It demonstrated from his perspective my insensitivity. He felt that I was insulting. I kept inquiring why he thought I was being insensitive. He replied with frustration that I should not underestimate them based on their education. He added that I have no right to think other people do not have same ability as me. His words made me upset. My ability to think straight just left me. My heart shattered into countless pieces. My point was that the one I called "paindu" had no issue why the other. My relationship with my other brother was based on teasing and calling names. According to me, we both were equal and on equal grounds. Furthermore, the one I called "paindu" did not care about education. Education was baseless for him as he was satisfied and felt enlightened the way he was. He admired his talent and skills as a mechanic. His attitude blew my mind as I always thought enlightenment comes from education and it gives you wisdom and peace. I thought education was an incentive or motivating object to attain. He proved me wrong. My education had no inspiration for him. He found no difference in our relationship based on education. He cared less about how many degrees I had attained. His mere respect towards me were based on our relationship. Relationship of being his sister in less than a month. It was intriguing that both of them looked at me differently, to one my dressing mattered which is he wanted to see me be dressed up as Pakistani clothes all covered. However, to the other using respectful words indicated that he cared ("Paindu" in his dictionary was a derogatory). He loves to listen and be there. I am so blessed to have brothers who I am learning from.
The moral of the story is that every human is a living document with an ability to teach. Learn from humans not categorize them. Categorization help us to access previous information. Let us not confine and limit human individuality based on our prior knowledge. People who we consider uneducated educate us and help us expand our horizons.
What I learned from my experience and relationship with these two boys, not even my Ivy League professors could teach. I feel blessed to learn the uniqueness of relationship, individual differences, individual relationship with God and humans from my interaction and experiences. Being in relationship with two boys belonging to different religions, I learned that it is the institution of religion that segregates us not God.
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