Reality Bites Everyone

Being labeled as  conceited, cocky, arrogant, jealous and insecure is weird, as you cannot group them together. It is interesting that perception about one person changes based on environment and their relationship with other individuals. 

Recently, I have observed that people around me perceive me as jealous and insecure, however they also seem to think that I am cocky and conceited simutaneously. In retrospection, based on individuals labeling I analyzed my childhood and teenage years when I was not only encouraged to be better than others but almost punished or criticized when compared to my peers if I was not good or not better than them in studies, talents and skill sets.  Now that the idea has taken such a strong hold in my brain of comparison I feel the need to compete. However, what sometimes frustrates me is my grouping with people who I don’t feel a fair comparison to. I don’t know why God puts me in that predicament where I feel compelled to compare myself with people who are so different from me and not a competition. 

Ultimately admitting, I do have some kind of arrogance which frustrates me when people state  that people they compare to me are in my tier. 

Arrogance comes with hard work and persistence. Compared to mediocre ready to be picked up individuals. It just don’t seem right. 

In conclusion, I read this quote today, “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere” that led me to question myself, should I compare myself to a good girl who goes to heaven or to a bad girl who goes anywhere with random anyone. Is that even a comparison??