Thou Shall not Judge

An eventful day

Today, I was running late because I could not find my key which I had conveniently kept in one of my shoe boxes. I am not sure why or how!! Anyways, to make my life eventful and exciting on my way to work I was stopped by a COP👮. I got nervous and panicked. He calmed me down. He asked me where I was from. I said Pakistan and continued with my most inappropriate and irrelevant comment in my panic mode. "I hope just because I am from Pakistan, you won't judge me and give me another ticket.". He smiled and went over some laws with me. He was such a gentleman.  Thank you COP! Hope not to see you on the road again. 

it is a date

It's a date Maso (aunt). Be ready, I will pick you up two blocks away from your house. Picking her up from her house was not a problem. But we just wanted to do it the Bollywood style (Chup Chup k milna). Isn't it crazy that I shared this adventurous and crazy relationship with her. She used to walk a few blocks few blocks away from her house to meet with me at the corner. She did it for us. What a sport some relationships are in our lives so natural? They cherish you for who you are, they spoil you and  just tag along with you on your adventures craziest plans.

 People say that perfection cannot be improved. What do you do for a perfection which is on another level. She was an epitome and prototype of perfection. Everything in her life was organized. Her clothes all sorted by color, shape, size and style. She could not tolerate any mess around her except for the  messy and disorganized me. 

Well things don't always go our way. My heart just stopped beating and my breath just froze the day I heard her helpless voice. "Maso, how could you be helpless?"The pillar of strength! 

How an illness separate us from the ones we once connected to. Can I go back in time and try to avail all opportunities that I missed  to spend with her. 

I hate losing control and being vulnerable. Realistically, isn't the weakest and the most vulnerable times and choices in our life make us realize how special some people and their relationships are. 

Actually, they always will be.

Moonlight 

Sometimes when people are leaving they give you an assurance of how great you are. I wonder if that assurance and those compliments are their way of boasting your ego before they leave. Maybe they want to make sure that they leave the ocean inside your existence calm. Calmness is what we all desire, but in reality chaos always acts as a catalyst, changes everything and helps you reset.

Reset to redefine. Reset to rediscover. Reset to re-establish. Reset to reconcile with yourself. Reset to renew. Reset to reorganize. Reset to readjust. Reset to rejuvenate. Reset to reboot your life.  Will it help you to become new?

In the process of this emotional wear and tear, do you question their honesty or just accept it as it comes? Well, the reality is even if you question they might just be helping you not to erupt like a volanco? At least not in front of them.

Life is mysterious like that, you would never know the true intentions of anyone. Like you will never know how harmful natural disasters might be till they come and go. Leaving everything destroyed only to rebuild. 

So what happened...

They met after years. He slowly had moved away from her life. She knew the reality but just did not want to accept it. Acceptance of circumstances are hard. It leaves you torn and it keeps you hanging on sharp edges of blades that can cut not only the heart but also the soul into million pieces. Any wrong move or pick between heart and brain, might end up into a phase of depression and of course, who wants it. In the battle of her heart and brain. The heart in her instance kept on winning. Was she intentionally letting her brain loose to her heart? Even if she had no answers to that question that kept coming back. She wanted to  kept going with the flow. 

She had met this guy a few years ago and fell in love. For her love was constant. Today she was meeting him so he could ask her for forgiveness and move on. How hard can be that meeting? They went down the memory lane and discussed their chilling stories. It was intriguing because what he thought was funny she did not remember and what was funny to her, he had no idea of. They liked different things about each other. Anyways, it was time. 

The reality of life is the pain it has to accept. Even though, she knew it was their last meeting she wanted to give it some meaning and tried to make memories in her own way. Was the dark semi-deserted restaurant's parking lot a place to hang out? The moonlight was giving this meeting some perspective. Giving light in the darkness. He was forgiven and she was too. The moonlight did its magic. 

Our Categorical Mind 

On August 5, 2017 the Daily Newspaper Dawn, posted a picture of a female wearing a hijab riding a bike. The picture captioned "A girl rides a motorbike in Saddar Peshawar". It was later shared on the Facebook page of Pak Tea house.

When I saw the picture and read the caption;  I asked myself why is this a news? What is difficult a girl riding a bike or a girl wearing a hijab riding it? I have no clue to why, when a woman does something it becomes a big deal or when a woman cannot do something and is manipulated becomes another deal. 

Yes, I agree that a woman is created differently from a man. However, a woman is free to choose and potentially able to do whatever she chooses or wants to do. It is not a debate that a woman is equal to a man. There is no competition and I feel there is no reason for a comparison as well. Men and women sometimes can do same things and other times have the ability to do it differently or better than the other gender. 

Humans are free to choose. The freedom of making a choice should be liberating. The decision to wear a hijab and ride a bike should not be made a huge deal. Women have gone to space, they fly airplanes, drive cars then why riding a bike make a woman any different. Our mentalities have this confined ideology of intolerance that is when we publish pictures like this or similar ones we actually limit and confine ourselves. We are trying to convince ourselves that it is not permitted or possible, however we are allowing and  permitting it to be acceptable and possible now. 

A human does not need permission. Nobody in this universe has the power over the other. The only power one can practice over the other is the mental power. Therefore, individuals should keep their mental powers  free and liberated from social confinements and environmental restrictions. Individuals should enlighten themselves for their own good and for the good of the society. We should allow the process of freedom from bondages of self-judgments and judgments of confining individuals based on their identity as far as religion or gender is a concern which ultimately could be debilitating.

 Ayesha Gulalai's Right to Fight

 Fighting for what is Right is a Right for All 

I have been so disturbed recently after I read and watched news of Ayesha Gulalai's claims and allegations on Imran Khan about harassment. Well, I have no political interest whatsoever. I don't care if any political party wins or looses, however what I care about today is the misuse of "woman" or " minority"card conveniently. I am all for Ayesha Gulalai fighting for justice and standing up for what is right. Nevertheless, there is a way of doing it. She needs to file a complaint and live through it. She is a powerful woman who has access to media and way to justice. She can provide briefing to the nation by holding press conferences after each step she takes. However, just claiming and using a certain identity does not provide any justice. She should seek justice through proper channel. She wanted to hold that press conference, well and good by all means. Now there should be step two. Appearances on different channels one after the other saying the same thing means nothing. On the other hand, supporters of Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf humiliating her and family is not an acceptable reaction. It seems like a game of mudslinging which is so disgraceful and needs to end. Moreover, her claims have ignited other opponent parties to support her to defame Imran Khan which is a fair game I believe in politics. However, what is this new idea of " We respect women" by all political parties. Well, not only women but humans in general should he respected irrespective of their nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, language, or any other status. 

There is a term called "Human Rights" which we have forgotten to use. Office of Higher Commissioner of Human Rights  (2017) described human rights as "Human rights are rights inherent to all human beings, whatever our nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, language, or any other status. We are all equally entitled to our human rights without discrimination. These rights are all interrelated, interdependent and indivisible". If there is any individual that feels violation to her/his rights, the individual needs to file a complaint and fight it through with evidence. Lobbying can be done to reach to justice. However, using a certain identity to get attention and manipulating certain situation in your favor is ethically wrong. This whole situation is disturbing. People need to be educated and made to understand their rights irrespective of their identities. 

We all should have a right to seek justice and we should do it through proper channel. We should not be discouraged by name-calling and defaming to not fight for what we stand for. Reaction should not be based on personal biases. Let us fight for right and let us help people to fight for what they think is right and just. 

#AyeshaGulalai #TVchannels #ImranKhan #PTI 

Wilderness


Walking in the wilderness makes me wonder, will I see the green grass that they promised.
I hear the good news parallell to the crying voices.
I need discernment for the love in the wilderness.
The love that was promised.
I find truth in the darkness.
I find shades of acceptance and tolerance.
I want to embrace them.
The moment I get close to them.
The truth slips from my hands.
Like me grabbing a smoke screen.
The smoke screen keeps my vision blurred.
I live in this mythical world.
I am not here to compete.
I am trying to find my existence.
I am trying to know who I am.
I want to see the image of me.
I want to see the truth in me.
I want to know who I am.

Lord, I cry at the hour of my despair that why have you forsaken me.
My faithless soul still yearns for faith.
My hopeless existence still prays for hope.
Hope in the only God who tells my faithless self that He Almighty is holding me strong!

 My Real Real Brothers

I was driving my friend and her children to the Laguardia airport to fly back to Texas. My friend's son/ my nephew during the whole ride to the airport was screaming at the top of his lungs, he wanted to go back to his "real real brothers". He wanted to stay  with them. He wanted to live with them. At that moment, the whole incident seemed hilarious to me. I kept teasing him. Today, I had a flashback of the same incident and I was just amazed what an eight year old boy taught me. The beauty of innocence and connection he made on genuine grounds. 

My friend and her family lived in New York for seven years. She and her family practices  christianity. When my nephew was born my friend took time off from work for a few weeks, however she needed to find someone to take care of her newborn son when she goes back to work. Fortunately, her Muslim neighbors offered to help them raising  her son. Thereafter, my nephew was nurtured in a Muslim family for four straight years and developed connections with them. He called the parents Ami (mom) and Abu (dad), their daughter, Baji (sister) and their sons, his "real real brothers". He even used to go and offer Namaz with them in the mosque. He got so attached with them that his mom used to have a hard time separating him from them at times. That bond and relationship stayed.  After seven years, when my friend decided to move to Texas with her family. Her son had a hard time separating from that family. They visited this year in January and he spent most of his time in their house. He had a meltdown when he had to leave them. He screamed and threw a tantrum that he wanted to stay with his "real real brothers".  That whole show in the car ride was hysterical to me. However now that I think about it. It is an epic example of beauty of his innocence which is not yet polluted by his surroundings. This year too he went to the mosque to offer Namaz with his real brothers even though he does not know how to offer Namaz. His mom on the other side takes him to church regularly. It boggles my mind that he still does not know the difference he has with his "real real brothers". 

Now sitting and looking back, I envy my nephew for his innocence. I wish I could view the world without differences. I wish I could live in a pure non-contaminated distilled world like he does.