Understanding the Dating Websites

How authentic people are on dating websites? Do we show our true selves? Is it an easy and secure way of meeting people? How honest are we about ourselves? I don't know answer to any of these questions. 😜

I have tried explaining to my family. You would not find a match for me. Not because I have some self esteem issues but generally I cannot act angelic. I am who I am! People who accept me for who I am have stayed with me. The ones who have tried to change me are nowhere to be found!! (Chuckles) 

Well, look even Salman Khan (Indian Actor) is single and Priyanka Chopra (Actor) has not found her right guy. The issue is not with them. They both are gorgeous and well established. They meet a lot of people. However, not everyone you meet is your soulmate. People who see you in your worst and still want to embrace you at the end are the ones who love you. People we meet are not like watching a movie you like some parts of it and you can fast forward the rest. 

You have to be upfront and bluntly honest. You will scare them for sure but only that will demonstrate if they have the guts and desire to be with you in the long run. 

What the cover shows is not always what you ultimately get! The hardest and honest people I have met are the nicest and genuine individuals. 

Recently, I tried making a profile on a dating website for a few hours. I did not write much because I did not have any nice things to say (Chuckles!! You know yourself the best) As soon as I stepped in. I got a nervous break down. Everybody had the nicest profile. They had done so much and achieved so much and were so nice. I felt how come I signed up for an angelic website. I totally felt I was trained by the devil himself!

Humans are not commodity on an aisle of a supermarket. You can be lucky and find the right product or not. 😜

Let us meet individuals with a blank slate. How we act in public is not usually how we act behind our close doors. Our overt thinking does not always match our covert thinking and reasoning. 

We dress to impress!! We have created a  soundbite culture. 

#datingwebsites #soundbite 

LET US CONNECT TO KNOW NOT TO JUDGE

God created all living beings.

Humans are living beings created by God.

Human Beings = Jews = Christians= Muslims = Hindus = Buddhist = Individuals who believe in God /No God

According to all religions, the devil does not have the power to create.

All humans are created the same way. 

All individuals have a right to express their beliefs to other individuals.

Individuals should not force their beliefs on others.

Keep in the parameters of respect when expressing your beliefs.

Others have a right to agree or disagree with you.

POINTS TO REMEMBER 

1. Be honest about your beliefs. 
2. Openly share and explain your beliefs.
3. Do not think your beliefs are better than other individuals’ beliefs and opinions. 
4. Individuals have a right to agree and disagree with your beliefs and opinions. 
5. Do not lose your individuality accommodating others’ beliefs and opinions.
6. Respect others who do not share your beliefs.
   

   Let us connect to know each other rather judge based on any man made category! 
   
   

Autism Speaks Autism Teaches 

As a therapist or an educator,  one always  feel an expert of teaching skills to the individuals with special needs. However, the fact is that an expert is just helping children with autism experience their surrounding in news ways that they have not experienced before (Greer & Speckman, 2009). We are not really inducing anything new, just exposing the individuals to an environment that they were not exposed to or were aware of.

Individuals who have never been exposed to children diagnosed with autism might not be aware that these individuals are not socially aware. They would not care what other people think of them, at least with the children that I have worked with. They do not care if you think they are not smart, genius or organized ( which ironically a lot of them are). I sometimes really envy my students with autism for this characteristic where they do not care about and for what others think of them and continue to do what they are best at.

Let us learn from them! Let us stop listening to the judgements around us and continue to be the best at what we like the most.

Autism speaks and autism teaches!

Let Go of Things! 

Be Present and Okay With it! 

Yesterday in yoga class when the instructor instructed the class to be in savasana and delivered instruction on the importance of being in savasana, while the students were in savasana, I felt embarrassed! 

Let me rewind a bit! Savasana is a corpse pose. You play dead and do not move. You can only breath. After a long standing series when the sweat was running down I felt the urge of wiping the sweat and scratching my head. I felt a flow of sweat forming river streams between the strands of my hair. I felt embarrassed because my wiping and scratching movement came when the instructor was in the middle of lecturing how important it is to let go and be still in savasana. He looked at me and smiled. All I did was smile back with my eyes giving the most innocent look. I was caught stealing cookie from the jar! I learned how easily our brain gets distracted. 

Hardest to learn in life is being present, staying still and trying hard to avoid and getting out of the situation as soon as possible. Our situations those times seem like fish out of water or a non swimmer in a pool experiences. 

We give power to our situations and hardships. Once we learn to be present we forget that it is painful. 

” The ‘good life’ begins when you stop wanting a better one” – Nkosiphambili E. Molapis

We run from pain towards joy but believe it or not we learn from both. I have been trying to teach this to myself than to others. I need to stop running towards the best because what I have now is the best. 

Am I controlling you or you control your own behavior?

Many a times we take decisions in our lives that we conveniently blame others for. We project our weakness by blaming it on being manipulated by others. Our compulsive way of acting in a certain way is our decision. Well who should we blame in such situations?

Recently, in a conversation with a peer I came to a conclusion that I am a master of my own behavior. We allow people to treat us a certain way. We forget that unconsciously or consciously we are taking a decision to let them treat us a certain way. Our decision!! Nobody  can force us to drink poison!

Won't we resist when someone forces us? When we give in to an idea. We are agreeing to the idea. It might seem as someone is controlling you, however you  are willfully giving them the control and the power to treat you the way they want to. Humans are victims of their own decision making. Their instilled idea of helplessness and not speaking up makes them a victim. Let us rise above our self victimization and enjoy our decision of taking responsibility of our own actions and decisions.

Can we co-exist? Muslims and Christians (Any religion as a matter of fact) 

I have recently started to read the Holy Quran. It started with a discussion with my younger brother. This boy is 19. I connected with him last year. He is a Muslim. Our discussions compelled me to read the Holy Quran as I felt some of his ideas about his religion seemed not aligned with the ideas of some other Muslim friends I have. I started to look for answers for him and ended up finding answers for myself. I took a liberty in involving other Muslim friends to get my queries answered. I wanted to inquire about tolerance in Islam about people who are Kafirs/disbelievers. One of my other Muslim friends encourage me to read about Hazrat Umar(RA). She informed me how He (RA) started off being against Islam and how Hazrat Mohammad (Peace Be Upon Him) requested God for him. He started off being an enemy and ended up being a devoted friend and follower of Islam. Hazrat Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him) forgave him and always admired his courage. I also read about Jesus Christ in Surah Al Imran where Jesus is given honor and his followers’ superiority and respect. I came to read Surah Al Kafiron (Disbelievers) where disbelievers are stated to freely follow their religion and practice it. I feel the more I read the more I understand. We always judge other religions based on our prior knowledge which is not factual but rumored based. However, now that I started to read Holy Quran on my own I feel it validates some of my Biblical perspectives. Reading a Holy book of another religion does not convert you. It liberates you as you understand the beliefs of others and get to respect them and widen your own perspective and knowledge about your own book and its perspectives.

Moral: We never try to understand the background of other people who we call friends and acquaintances. We need to understand the rules and regulations of other families, institutions and organizations. Respecting others will help us gain respect. Unless if you are an unconditional giver and you would not mind getting respect back.

Disclaimer: I am still a Christian l believe in God, Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ. I believe in the resurrection of Christ. I love Jesus!

Brother of the Prodigal Son

You never understand a story and someone’s emotions till you step into their shoes.  The story of the prodigal son has been shared with me million times. The focus has always been on the prodigal son from what I have observed. I felt the love of the father towards the prodigal son was remarkable. I always thought the brother of the prodigal son was selfish and envious till I experienced something similar. It is interesting that I identified my own behavior and emotion as the brother of the prodigal son. Once I discerned, I immediately started to look for some articles related to my concern and found a couple. It was intriguing to discover that the brother was as lost as the prodigal son. He was upset with his father because he was working hard to earn his love as he mentioned how hardworking and obedient he was. However, the response of the father did not demonstrate that he ever expected any deed or hard work. The son assumed that he needed to act in a certain manner to earn his father’s love. 

Moral of the story: Relationships are not earned by gifts and good deeds. You should cares for someone because you want to not because you want to earn their love. 

Always remember that you are doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do not to earn a reward or respect. The deed should be reinforcing not the incentive of earning praise, approval and love.

Never forget, God’s grace is unconditional. We have not earned it. We do not deserve it! It is given unconditionally to the ones God wants to for no reason. 

http://www.stannchurch-stl.org/do-you-ever-feel-like-the-older-brother-in-the-prodigal-son-story/

#prodigalson #God #grace #love #learning